Elder Care Guidance 

After my dad had a heart attack and passed away, my mom insisted on living alone.  She always seemed fine, remained active and independent.  I would ask if she needed anything and she would always say she was fine.  For her 75^th birthday I was visiting her and I started realizing she was forgetting things, simple things, yet significant things.  I didn’t notice this before, and I wonder how long she has been having these episodes with her memory.  Now, I am visiting her more often and I hired someone to help “clean” for her.  She was okay with allowing someone to help with the “cleaning” but nothing more.  My mom is still very independent and I respect her wish to want to remain independent as much as possible. 

I got that urgent 4am call “come quick your father is in the hospital”!  My dad had fallen out of bed and broke his pelvis.  I didn’t know what to expect, is he going to make it through this or what is going to happen?   Then, the next day the hospital is discharging my dad home!  Now what?  Luckily my mom was able to help him a little and my dad used the walker to get around the house.   He was prescribed  pain medication but the medications made him hallucinate.  My dad never liked to take medications anyway.   It was a bit challenging with a lot of late night phone calls and urgent visits, but to my surprise my dad has made a complete recovery, seven months later. 

My mom died a year ago of cancer.  Cancer is that disease you hear about all the time but never think it will knock on your door.  I had to take time off of work so that I could help my mom get to all the appointments.  I was driving my mom from one doctor to another.  Waiting for test results.   It was exhausting.  Then we were told the cancer was terminal and my mom only had 6 months or less to live.  The doctor referred my mom to the Hospice Program.   The last 8 months of her life she was cared for at her home with a great hospice team.  Without the hospice team, I don’t know how I would have made it through.

I am 80 years old, and I don’t feel like I am 80.  I feel like I am much younger.  Of course, I have days that are harder than others, especially when my arthritis flares up.  But, overall I am content and happy and I am trying to stay healthy. 

My parents don’t drive anymore.  I was really worried how they would get around, but they use the dial a ride service and it seems to be working out fine, for now.